Breaking news! Now, I want you all to sit down before reading this, as I realize that it will come as a complete and total shock. . . .so totally unexpected and out of left field that I daresay the more delicate among you may literally faint away at the news. And yet, with the full sincerity of my iron convictions, I must post this incredible news:
Bigfoot Body Revealed to Be Halloween Costume
"Within one hour we were able to see the partially exposed head," Kulls continues. "I was able to feel that it seemed mostly firm, but unusually hollow in one small section. This was yet another ominous sign."
Then came the clincher.
"Within the next hour of thaw, a break appeared up near the feet area. ... I observed the foot which looked unnatural, reached in and confirmed it was a rubber foot."
I am speechless.