Here's a dating tip: If a suitor proclaims, "You will be my Penelope," run for the hills. Odysseus's long-suffering wife was legendarily faithful, but Homer didn't have much to say about her happiness.
Sadly, Sophia Chrysanthis doesn't get a choice. In The Fall of Troy, it's 1867, and her impoverished parents have arranged a marriage for the young Greek woman with a 50-year-old German businessman who believes he's found the site of ancient Troy in Hissarlik, Turkey. Heinrich Obermann is shopping for a classically trained wife who can help with the excavations, not a second Helen.
Sophia's new husband is a cheerful self-promoter who believes that everything about himself – including his bodily functions – is of tremendous interest to others.
Just y'all wait until I start blogging about every time I visit the commode.