At first glance, the Massa Marittima mural looks fairly similar to dozens of other medieval frescoes dotted across Tuscany.
But look closely at the spidery tree which dominates the centre of the painting and you notice something peculiar.
Its branches are covered in penises.
There are 25 of them in all, of different shapes and sizes, complete with testicles. They hang from the limbs of the tree like leaves fluttering in the breeze.
Just in time for the Holidays!
There are two phrases archaeologists repeat approximately 30,000 times in their professional lifetimes:
-- "It probably has some ritual significance."
-- "It's probably a fertility symbol of some sort."
Now, there is some warrant for both of these. Nevertheless, we must caution those not in the profession that, most often, you may interpret both of these statements as "I don't know what that is."
And at this point we most emphatically do not encourage readers to contemplate other possible lyrical interpretations of the above storyline lest we lose our Family-Friendly status.
Leave that to us.
Don't sit under the penis tree. . .with anyone else but me. . .anyone else but me. . . .
All I want for Christmas is. . . .
(Thanks to FootballFansForTruth)